I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
