She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
