i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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