i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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