Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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