look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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