Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
