Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
