just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
