all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
