bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
