So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
where are my eyebrows?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
