That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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