Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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