I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
