you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
