Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
