1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
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It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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