I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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