So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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