I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
