i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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