I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
