I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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