What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize