After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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