Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
