We should be called the Road Head Warriors
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
