when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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