So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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