I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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