is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
