We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We left an ass print on the piano.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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