11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
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I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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