Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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