she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
