Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
