It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
