i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize