ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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