Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
