Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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