can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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