My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My ATM looks so different sober.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
