How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
