C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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