I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize