Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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