If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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