Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
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Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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