? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
