too bad you live with your parents still
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
