i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I fill condoms, not promises.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
