i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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