Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
