just come out here and I will go home with you...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
