no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
