How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize