No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
